Administration Etc.

Group Members:

- Shabrina Khanam z3334714
- Risa Sato z3373578
- Stiliani Drimousis z3332848
- Suzanna Azevedo z3378203
- Luciana Branco z3429983

Division of Labour:

Introduction - Stiliani
Neuroscientific context; background - Suzanna
Brain areas - Stiliani
Causes - Risa
Treatment/Technology - Shabrina
Critical analysis - Shabrina
Psychological Effects - Luciana
Ethics - Luciana
Case studies; Tony - Risa
Jean - Suzanna

Appendix (search [[#|strategy]]) - Everyone!

group photo meeting.jpg
Our group: Lisa, Brina, Suz and Stelina

group plan pic.jpg
Our Game Plan
NEUR group meeting 2.JPG
Second group meeting (17/08). Should have a group photo with our new member up soon
Our new group!

Great videos for the technologies:,9171,986096,00.html (BRINA THIS ONE MIGHT BE GOOD FOR YOU TOO WITH THE CRITICAL ANALYSIS)

Brina, this is the blog you were asking me about yesterday, I found the link!

This could be a good article for Brina to look at: Leon-Carrion, J., Eeckhout, P.V., Del Rosario, M., Dominguez-Morales, R., & Perez-Santamaria, J.F. (2002). The locked-in syndrome: A syndrome looking for a therapy. Journal of Brain Injury. 16(7), 571-582


Reviewer comments on draft by z3218566

Strong Points
The amount and depth of research carried out shows that a lot of time and effort has gone into making this wiki entry both scientifically sound, as well as informative. This is very impressive. I also find the presentation to be visually appealing, which makes reading it much easier.

Weak Points
As mentioned in the post, lack of detail in certain areas detracts from the wiki, in particular I believe the psychological aspects and ethics areas could use some work. The video content, while engaging, does not add significant value to the wiki, as it is too short and does not address any of the key issues that the wiki attempts to.

General suggestions for improvement (e.g. logic, complexity, content, figures)
Video content: If there were other video clips, perhaps from the media piece itself or possibly interviews with patients or doctors, or even explanations of the neuroscience involved, available these would make for better video content in my opinion.
Ethics section: The writing here is a little rough, I believe it would benefit greatly from editing. I also feel as if the issues of euthanasia in particular is mentioned, but not fully discussed, the use a case study is excellent, but the wiki entry here simply tells the story, rather than attempting to delve deeper into the complex and difficult issues that Tony Nicklinson faces.

Specific suggestions for improvement (e.g. typos, grammar, labels)
Overall writing is quite good, but make sure to label each figure, as well as edit your grammar and sentence structure where ever possible to improve readability, some minor re-writing would allow to expand upon under developed ideas as well. For example: "However, there are some cases in which the patient desires death. But euthanasia is illegal in nearly every country because it is viewed as an act of murder or failure of a doctor’s legal obligation to minimise suffering. " Would read better as: There are cases where the suffering of the patient is so great that they desire to die. With euthanasia a very sensitive, complex ethical issue, patients, their doctors and society at large must engage in serious discussion regarding its morality and legality. Are doctors failing their patients by euthanizing them? Is euthanasia murder? These are just two of the heavy questions that euthanasia asks, questions that are not so easily answered." Do not forget to make sure your format matches the assessment criteria for the final version. In particular your word count is over the limit. Thanks and good luck with your assignment guys!

Comments made by z3293198:
Strong points

  • Fascinating topic
  • Well researched
  • Well presented

Weak points

  • Psychological aspects needs work, as is indicated in the wiki
  • References should be added to sections where they are needed

General suggestions

  • Since this is a film, if possible, more clips from the film would be good as just a trailer isn't really adequate

Specific suggestions

  • Some sentences run a bit long, which can negatively affect readability
  • Not all figures are labelled

Comments made by z3433230:
Strong points

  • In general the wiki page is well researched, the critical analysis part is especially good.

Weak points

  • As indicated in the wiki, there are som sections that need a reference and the psychology part needs more work

General suggestions

  • As already mentioned, it would be good if there were more clips from the film

Specific suggestions

  • A definition of Lis above the youtube trailer would be great, since the trailer isn't adequate. Its first when you read further that you realize what its all about.
  • 1.5 Treatment and technology: To which extent did patiens regained muscle reflexes by treatment with NMES? Give an example of a single case.
  • The intro to the "treatment and technology" part seems redundant, since the almost same thing is said just benlow the youtube trailer and it doesnt seem to be important facts for the analysis, which otherwise is really good.. "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly’ was a highly successful film, winning awards at the Cannes Film Festival, Golden Globes, British Academy Film Awards and Oscar nominations in 2008. It is a French film based on the life of Jean Bauby and his memoirs after the onset of LiS. This film had huge international acclaim, being released in numerous countries and appealed to movie go-ers worldwide.
  • A definition of "vegetative" would be great (Im not sure if this is actually a known english term and that might be why I dont know it)

Reviewer comments on draft project by z3375992:

Strong points

The project is very well researched and the information is very clearly set out and presented. All the pictures used are relevant and effectively elucidate the information; they also make the page more engaging.

The case studies were also very interesting.

Weak points

The psychological aspects of ‘Locked in Syndrome’ could be explained in more detail.

General suggestions for improvement (e.g. logic, complexity, content, figures)

The technology section of the wiki, while well written and interesting, does seem a bit too long. As mentioned above, additional clips from the film could be used to make the critical analysis clearer to readers.

Specific suggestions for improvement (e.g. typos, grammar, labels)

There’s an incomplete sentence at the end of the first paragraph of Jean-Dominique Bauby’s case study. Also, comparative definitions of locked in syndrome and ‘vegetative’ would be useful for readers to understand the distinction more clearly.